Eighteen Years, One Indescribable Journey

Son, the boy now grown,
My love forged from absent past—
Stand tall, life is yours.

When I was 18 years old, I really had no clue what I was doing. But of course, who at that age has any real grasp on life? I’ve mentioned in the past that I grew up without a father and without any strong male role models until I joined the military.

There is only so much a mother can teach a boy, and at the end of the day, men need other men around to help complete that training, so to speak. I didn’t have that, so I had to learn through trial and error. Self-help books played a key role in what I learned as I tried to figure out manhood and fatherhood.

One of the first books I read when I was about to become a father was Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis, which discusses a father’s role in a son’s life. I learned so much from that book. Two things in particular stayed with me.

One was the principles of manhood: a real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward.

The second was the importance of commemorating key passages in a boy’s journey to manhood, rites of passage, which I believe are very important.

Of course, my father failed to live up to those principles of manhood, but I was committed not to do the same. So I’ve done the best I can every day to follow them—and my goodness, have I seen the greater reward. I’ve seen it every day for the past 18 years.

Commemorating those key passages, however, was not always easy. The first major milestone was puberty. I had to reject passivity and work through my fears to celebrate my son reaching that first gate. We made it special, just as the book and other resources recommended. I prepared in advance and created a plan to talk about puberty and everything it entails. We spent a weekend at a hotel, talking and having fun. Of course, his mom was there too, and we shared the experience as a family. He was 12 years old at the time, and it’s amazing how much he has grown since then.

I have witnessed many other key passages—like the day he got his driver’s license, and the moment I handed him the keys to my car and watched him drive to school by himself. Scary? You bet it was. But letting them go is part of life.

Now, he’s about to reach another major milestone: in just a few days, he’ll turn 18 and step into adulthood. Next year, he’ll graduate from high school.

At 52 years old, I never imagined I would see the day when I’d be celebrating my son’s 18th birthday.

With all the ups and downs life brings, I’m deeply honored to be here and to be part of something so indescribable. He’s probably experiencing many of the same things I did 34 years ago—but the difference is, his dad will be right beside him, celebrating and cheering him on as he reaches adulthood.

In a way, I’ll be celebrating too—that so far, I have rejected passivity, accepted responsibility, and co-led courageously to the best of my ability… and that I’m now enjoying the greater reward that comes from being a father.

We love you. Happy birthday, my precious boy.

33 thoughts on “Eighteen Years, One Indescribable Journey”

  4. Happy 18th birthday to your son, Edward. Your story is so powerful and full of love. Far too many of us grew up without dads and role models. It would’ve been wonderful if someone had cared about me and my siblings, the way you and your wife care about your son. But when that doesn’t happen, we have to teach ourselves to be better for our children and future generations and hope all the work we put into learning gets passed forward. Congratulations on being a loving dad. Birthday hugs and well-wishes to your family.

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    1. Thank you very much, Rose. You’re so right, and I think growing up with a dad is a tragedy. Being a parent is such a gift and a tremendous responsibility. Giving our kids what we never received is hard, but it’s so worth it.

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  6. A lovely story, Edward, because you and your wife made it so. Your son resembles you. That’s nice too. I imagine you will be quite the model for him, as you have been in the past.

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  10. Ughhhh Edward you darn near made me cry 😭
    This was so so beautiful 😍
    He’s very lucky to have you, as you are him…and of course his mom too. Happy Happy 18th Birthday to your boy! It’s a big deal! 🎂

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    1. Thank you so much, my friend. Well, I cried a little while writing this post, too many happy memories running through my mind. Definitely a big deal. We started celebrating it this past weekend and will continue celebrating for the rest of the week for sure.

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  12. you’ve done a tremendous job as a father Edward. and in the backdrop of your history with no father, it makes the story all the more meaningful as I also grew up without a father. on this birthday, I wish for your son health and happiness and safety to navigate this world. I know with the examples you and your wife have put forth, he will stand tall in the rough winds! Mike

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  13. This is more than a reflection—it’s a quiet testimony of redemption.

    What moved me most is not just the journey of your son turning eighteen, but the journey of a man who chose to become what he himself never received. That choice—to reject passivity and step fully into responsibility—is not easy, especially when you have no blueprint to follow. Yet you did it, day by day.

    You didn’t just raise a son; you restored a legacy. You turned absence into presence, uncertainty into guidance, and fear into courage. That is no small thing—it is generational change in its truest form.

    The beauty of your story lies in this: while your son was growing into manhood, you were also becoming the father you once needed. And perhaps that is the “indescribable” part—how healing and love can unfold side by side over time.

    As he steps into adulthood, he does so with something you didn’t have—a father beside him. And that may well be the greatest gift of all.

    Thank you for sharing something so deeply human, honest, and quietly powerful.

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  14. A deeply heartfelt and inspiring reflection on fatherhood and growth. Your honesty about your own journey, and your commitment to breaking the cycle, comes through with real strength and humility. The way you’ve honored each milestone in your son’s life is truly meaningful. A powerful reminder that true manhood is built through presence, responsibility, and love.

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