No Feedback, No Growth

During my career I learned the importance of the 11 Principles of Leadership: know yourself, seek self-improvement, be technically and tactically proficient, take responsibility, set the example, care for your people, keep them informed, ensure tasks are understood and accomplished, develop responsibility, build teamwork, make timely decisions, and employ your unit according to its capabilities. These principles were the foundation of everything we did, and performance was measured against them.

I recently read a satire in The Economist that personifies annual performance reviews as “Ann.” The piece highlights the strengths and weaknesses of the process: while reviews provide structure and force managers to engage with employees, they are often outdated, disliked, and treated as a formality. Still, Ann ensures at least one formal conversation happens between managers and employees each year—sometimes the only acknowledgment an employee receives.

Having gone through this process for years, I never saw it as a burden. I took it seriously and viewed it as an extension of the Principles of Leadership. Performance can’t be measured without meaningful feedback. Leaders often get frustrated when employees miss goals, but the real issue is usually unclear expectations. An email or PowerPoint won’t align a team—consistent one-on-one conversations will.

My approach was simple: Conduct an initial discussion to set the conditions. I would describe my leadership style, explain their duties according to their job description, share my expectations, and ask them about their personal and professional goals, then give them the chance to ask questions. Then I’ll keep the dialogue going with mid-year and final reviews. That way, no one was surprised when it came time for bonuses or promotions. If leaders don’t discuss performance, it’s a failure of leadership.

Articles like this always give me the opportunity to think about how we can apply some of the same lessons at home. I don’t do performance reviews with my son, of course, but we do have regular dialogues. He knows what is expected of him from both mom and dad. We provide frequent feedback so he knows whether he’s on track or not. We also listen to his feedback and adjust when needed. He can count on our support. 

Parenting, like leadership, requires engagement, consistency, and care. Bosses may fire underperformers, but parents can’t fire their children—we pour into them because we want them to succeed. Leaders must do the same with their people. 

The satire made me laugh, but the real issue isn’t the annual review itself—it’s when leaders neglect the process and fail to put the right feedback mechanisms in place. People can’t improve if no one tells them there’s a problem. Whether at work or at home, leadership is about communication, accountability, and supporting those entrusted to us.

78 thoughts on “No Feedback, No Growth”

  2. I really enjoyed reading your essay. I like how you compared leadership to parenting – it made your message very warm and easy to understand. I also agree that giving feedback is important because it helps people grow and feel supported.

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  6. You’re absolutely right, Edward! Without feedback, people don’t know when they’re falling behind and what they need to improve. That was one of the things that I disliked about my parents. They never talked to my brother and me about how to succeed in life or how to improve ourselves. Most of the time, they didn’t talk to us at all. And when they did, it was just negative criticism without any positive encouragement or reinforcement.

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    1. I hear you. My mom used to let me know something was wrong without saying a word, if you know what I mean. It’s so much easier to just sit down and talk to your kids, but some parents don’t know how to do that. I guess that’s one of the reasons there’s so much domestic violence.

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  7. This is beautifully spoken and what a wonderful way of implementing great communication in the home. When I was raising kids we had no TV , no video games and the living room was a gym and the other family room a dance studio, it was about activity, communication, journaling, sharing, caring, even moments of just plain collaboration of ideas and thoughts.. creating and learning was talked about and everyone had ideas. I even asked sometimes when my kids didn’t think a punishment was fair,”what do you think the consequence should be”not they were heard and ideas were implemented and talked about.

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    1. Thank you, Kerri, and what a wonderful setting your kids grew up in. It’s a great way to promote family connections. The punishment part is interesting, and your approach was excellent. A lot of parents are quick to implement punishment without having a conversation first, which I think is very important. I think we punished our son only a couple of times, and we always explained what he did wrong first.

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      1. Well if he only had to be disciplined twice you are all amazing and that’s beautiful.. I had 4 and boy were they all different and responded very different to everything , so I took that into consideration and created something for everyone in the house to teach the rest of us. It was fun , makes me miss my kids little they weee way easier as kids than adults lol.😂

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  8. Your post reminded me of several scenarios in academic settings. Teacher evaluations are a lengthy process that involve many factors. As for kiddos, being a supportive parent is my greatest joy and I’m finding that my suggestions/advice seem to have more merit with the passing of time. 😄

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    1. That’s typical for all senior officers, including generals and admirals, especially during that kind of event. I know a few of the generals who were present, and I’m sure they were thinking, “What the hell is going on here?” It would take a superb leader to get a reaction from that crowd.

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  13. “Whether at work or at home, leadership is about communication, accountability, and supporting those entrusted to us.” A perfect conclusion to your wise post, Edward. Thanks for sharing, and it would be nice if more people shared your same ideals.

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  14. Your comparison of leadership to parenting perfectly illustrates that a leader’s goal should be to support others to achieve success. One of the best ways to get employees inspired to achieve is to show that you care about them and the goal placed in front of them.

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  17. It’s a simple thing, like if you don’t know where you were wrong how can you correct yourself.
    It doesn’t matter who you are but if you can’t correct your mistakes then you are not the one ❤️

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  18. You are a true leader and the skill you have learned carry over into your home with your son which is what matters most. If everyone started with family and had the skills you have our world would be in a different place!
    🩷

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  20. I love the idea of applying the principles of leadership to our personal relationships. And in this, you touched something truly important: “We pour into them because we want them to succeed.” True leadership is not about bossiness but rather about supporting others in a way that serves everyone and a greater purpose that might be in question. Thank you, Edward, for this great, insightful post. Very down-to-earth and humane. Much appreciated! Light and blessings to you, my friend, today and always! 🙏✨

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  23. This is so brilliant, Edward. It matches what I’ve seen in the companies I work with again and again. Leadership is about accountability, communication and support – yes!

    I love how you extend this to home. “we pour into them because we want them to succeed. Leaders must do the same with their people.” – yes, yes, yes!

    You are a great leader everywhere you go. So good, my friend!

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  24. When I was in nursing management, the way I did reviews was to give a list of the requirements and expectations of the job, ask the employee to review themself according to the list, do my review of themselves , using the same criteria, and then meet to compare notes and discuss. It was very helpful for me to understand each employee’s self-perception.

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    1. Thank you, Terry, for sharing your experience. That’s a great way to do reviews because you get both parties involved in the process. I know that in the military we moved to an automated system where civilian employees were able to add their own personal assessments, and that was very helpful for the reason you gave.

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  25. Wise words Edward. True leadership is steady guidance, honest feedback, and care.

    Just like at home and at work, God calls us to lead with love and truth.

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  26. You had to have been an excellent and well-respected leader, Edward. I hope I was successful in following most of those guidelines myself. I also read that satire in The Economist and laughed out loud more than once!

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    2. A timely discussion of leadership, Edward.

      The Stoics would surely look at leadership when tested.

      Those tests within the military — the principles you offered — would be of interest to me when the soldier comes under pressure, experiences fear, requires that orders be disobeyed, demands that he speaking truth to power, etc. Thanks, Edward.

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      1. Definitely, Dr. Stein. I have seen leaders that held fast and lost the careers, and I have seen the opposite. At the end of the day, the standard for military officer is different to the enlisted soldier, since the Senate confirm our appointments so we are held to obey the constitution. An officer who obeys an unlawful order, and unlawful meaning it goes against the rule of law, sooner or later they will see his or her time in court and will pay for their transgressions. Because we received education on all of this, an officer that goes against their responsibility knows the consequences and cannot claim ignorance or say that he or she was forced.

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    1. It’s really sad that leaders don’t spend time with their people. I sometimes get the sense that organizations treat employees like expendable items, and I think that’s why we see so many layoffs. Thank you, Brad.

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  28. “People can’t improve if no one tells them there’s a problem.” People management 101, but yet it’s missed all the time. I’ve had my strengths and weaknesses as a people manager, but I’ve always tried to be up front with folks on that one. You can’t improve if you don’t know that something is an issue.

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    1. I know, it seems so basic, but, like you said, leaders miss it all the time. Part of the problem is that sometimes people get promoted to leadership roles and do not receive any training or mentorship. They can’t give what they never received. Thank you, Brian.

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      1. Yes, I’ve seen that a lot in the corporate world. What mad them a great individual contributor does not necessarily make them a great people leader. And then leadership fails them by not providing the training and support they need to be a great leader. And the circle continues.

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