What If the Unthinkable Happens at Home?

Managing crises can be a major leadership challenge if we don’t have some kind of plan in place. I spent a large portion of my career planning for contingencies and crises. We wrote plans and exercised them routinely. We planned for things like moving a headquarters to another location on a military installation due to long-term infrastructure issues, or relocating personnel out of state in response to natural disasters. We also did a lot of planning in support of national-level strategies and wars.

Planning, decentralization (empowering leaders to make decisions), and prioritization of tasks and resources were key to success.

So, when I read an article in The Economist about planning and crisis management, I felt this is a topic that should be covered more often, not just about how to manage crises in business, but also on the home front.

The article was a short read but packed with insight.

Three key lessons from the article:

  • Plan ahead – Even if scenarios don’t perfectly predict future events, exercises like simulations help leaders clarify principles and prepare adaptable responses.
  • Decentralize control – While leaders may instinctively centralize decision-making during crises, that can slow response times.
  • Think beyond the crisis – Immediate survival is vital, but so is preparing for recovery.

The bottom line: while advice like “plan, decentralize, and prioritize” may sound clichéd, following it can significantly improve how organizations weather crises.

With that said, what about the home front? Most organizations have some kind of plan to manage a crisis, but what about our families? This is what I was thinking while reading the article, and it led me to write this post.

We don’t typically manage large or complex crises on a routine basis. Usually, we deal with occasional problems like illness, or a car breakdown, and we get through them with some improvisation. But I also know that depending on a family’s financial situation, even a “routine” crisis can be devastating. Spending $100 on a car repair can derail a budget and take months to recover from.

For this post, I want to focus on one scenario: what if the main family provider becomes medically unable to function? Can the other spouse or partner step in and manage things in the short and long term?

The worst-case scenario I see too often is when a spouse, usually the main provider, becomes incapacitated and the other is suddenly thrust into crisis mode, having to make critical decisions without any preparation. In many cases, the incapacitated partner kept everything under their control, and now the spouse is left trying to figure out what to do. 

Some spouses don’t have access to bank accounts, don’t know which bills are due or when, aren’t sure if there’s a will or power of attorney, and don’t even know what kind of medical insurance they have. The list can be long if no planning is in place.

Planning may seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be as simple as:

  • Keeping a basic budget that shows income, monthly bills, and where the money is going.
  • Sharing all passwords with your spouse, not just for bank accounts, but for online bill payments, investments, insurance, email, and computers. Transparency is key.
  • Having a will and power of attorney to enable your spouse to make decisions on your behalf. You don’t want others, or the government, making those decisions for you.
  • Keeping all important documents in one centralized place: bank and investment statements, tax records, birth certificates, wills, titles, and insurance policies.
  • Creating a list of key contacts: names, phone numbers, and emails.

Your plan should be simple enough to execute quickly and, most importantly, clearly communicated to your spouse, partner, or a trusted family member or friend if you are single. If your spouse doesn’t know what you know or where things are located, then it’s not a good plan. Decentralization is important. 

I’m transparent with my wife, she knows where all the documents are, has access to every account and password, and because I’m old school, I keep a detailed budget in a notebook. She can pick it up and know exactly what we pay and to whom. Since our budget is consistent, we only go over it once a year. If something unexpected comes up, we talk and adjust together.

Money is one of the main things that can tear a family apart, so the more you talk about it, the better. Financial planning is crucial. I know not every family has the ability to do all of this, but if you can, consider having an emergency fund, life insurance, and possibly long-term care insurance to protect your savings from being wiped out by the high costs of long-term care.

Planning is one of those topics you can discuss ad nauseam, but that’s not my intent here. I simply wanted to reflect on a few lessons from the article and translate them into something relatable, something we can use at home. I didn’t aim to cover every aspect of planning, just enough to hopefully spark your curiosity and maybe motivate you to begin planning, just in case you ever find yourself having to manage a crisis at home.

66 thoughts on “What If the Unthinkable Happens at Home?”

  3. When my husband became critically ill, I had to give up my per diem job and take a full-time job. Luckily, my husband recovered and returned to work. But the whole thing scared us. We decided to take the money out of the bank and pay off our mortgage so that nobody could take our house away in case of such a thing happening again. I don’t regret it.

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    1. That was a great decision, Dawn. Mortgages are a big-ticket item. Once that’s done, everything gets a little easier, I think. Ours is a at 15-year, and we’re trying to pay it off as fast as we can. Thank you for commenting.

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  6. This is such important information, Edward. Having lived through deaths in the family where nothing was planned, or written down, has been an awful experience. My husband and I are always trying to make sure each of us has access to all the details needed to run our household as smoothly as possible.

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  7. This was such an eye-opening and necessary read—thank you for translating complex leadership principles into something so relatable for everyday life. 🙏

    The idea that we prepare for crises in the workplace, yet often leave our own homes vulnerable to the unexpected, really struck a chord. Your emphasis on decentralization and communication within the family is powerful—so many families would be in a far better place if even a basic plan was in place.

    Your practical tips like sharing passwords, organizing documents, and simply having open conversations around finances and responsibilities are steps we all can and should take. I especially appreciated your reminder that transparency isn’t just about trust, it’s about protection and peace of mind.

    I’ll definitely be sharing this post—it deserves to be read widely. For those who enjoy reflections on parenthood, everyday resilience, and calm amidst chaos, I welcome you to visit my twin mom blog: twinmom73.wordpress.com or connect with me on Instagram at @twintales2025. Let’s keep the conversations around planning, parenting, and preparedness going. 💚📚

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  8. We had a tight budget when the children were young ( and when they were teenagers ! ) and we had the mortgage and all the other expenses. We always worked out the money on pay day, keeping everything under control. But I am grateful we just had to manage every day life. If we had had a crisis with any of us being ill or having a serious accident, not sure how we would have coped.

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    1. I hear you. I went through the same thing while growing up. My single mom was the only provider, and we struggled, but it could have been much worse if something had happened to her. Thank you for commenting.

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  9. This is a great and timely reminder Edward that is always on my list with my husband. We have a system. I hand over by money, he pays the bills and we’re split pretty much down the middle. I told him that very thing. I need the passwords and now where are they in the safe but what’s the code. Tonight I’ll make sure I know amongst other things.. thanks for your post! 💓

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      1. Found you! Ignore my last comment. So he was going in for a surgery the next day after you wrote this, and in the morning, I madly looked for the password he had written and into my avail I couldn’t find them anywhere. Then I said, let me see the safe and he opened with his finger, but he didn’t know the code lol
        My wake up order is high and running so thanks for this post although I have to tell you it was a stressful day, but I’ll be thanking you later 😜

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        1. Sorry about the stress, my friend. I had to laugh a little about the code, it happens to me all the time. I keep all my passwords and codes in a little notebook because there are so many, and my mind isn’t what it used to be. I hope everything gets resolved soon and the stress level goes down a bit.

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          1. Thanks and thank you though for getting me on board here. It’s so hard to keep track of these these days that I have bigger fish to fry and this is the start of it so I’m grateful that you sent it. I have a date with Suzie Orman on the video later too 😂

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  11. Unbelievably wise and helpful tips and suggestions, Edward! A keeper of a post on so many levels – about the importance of transparency and openness and the need to update and revisit topics with family members. So good! 💕

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  12. A very down-to-earth article, Edward. Full of good, practical advice and many aspects that are usually not considered. You said something truly relevant and to keep in mind: “Money is one of the main things that can tear a family apart.” Sharing is one of the things that can definitely keep it united, besides, of course, love, respect, and friendship. I greatly enjoyed your post, my friend; helpful to the max. Managing practical issues ahead is to avoid many distresses. And so, thank you! Light and blessings to you, my friend, today and always 🙏✨

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    1. You’re so welcome, my friend. I’m glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for your wonderful comments. I like that you mentioned love, respect, and friendship as key components of a good relationship. If you love and respect your spouse or partner, then there must also be a level of trust to share everything.

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  14. This is an important and often overlooked perspective. We spend so much time preparing for crises in our professional lives, yet many of us neglect to apply the same principles at home. Your point about decentralization really resonated—transparency and shared knowledge within a family can make all the difference in times of stress. Thank you for translating organizational crisis planning into practical, actionable steps for everyday life. A timely reminder that preparation is a form of care.🎉🌷

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  16. Transferable information from a business to a home. Considerate share, Edward. “Planning may seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be.” 👍🏻 Not planning seems a scarier proposition to me.

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  19. Well said Edward…👏 … Planning isn’t just for business or the battlefield, it’s a vital act of love and protection for our families too. 💡💪🏽🏠

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    1. You’re very welcome, Liz. Thank you for sharing your mom’s experience. It’s tough, but in many cases, it’s avoidable or at least made less severe. Sharing what we know and doing a little planning can make a big difference.

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  23. Well, we have most everything planned out down to knowing where we will be buried, but of course, no one likes to think about worst case scenarios. However, you are right. I have VA care until I’m 65, then will probably go on medicare. I should probably hunt for long-term insurance.

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        1. Well, that’s just a recommendation, so it’s never too late. I think they’re targeting 60 because, economically, it doesn’t make sense to start paying for that kind of insurance in one’s 30s or 40s. It’s probably money wasted if a person doesn’t make it to 60.

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    1. A Power of Attorney is an essential document, and you’re absolutely right, you’re never too young to have one. That’s one of the first things the Army asks young soldiers to complete before deployments. Thank you, Mary.

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      1. Important stuff, Edward. Being of the next (and final living) generation, everyone we know has their affairs in order; the hand-writing is on our wall! But, boy, you’re right that it’s ALWAYS important, at whatever age and phase of life. As a woman, I especially applaud your focus on not leaving one spouse only to be responsible for family financial info. Each partner should be fully informed and involved. Hear, hear!

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        1. Thank you, Jane. There are a lot of little things we can do to help our spouse or partner succeed in a crisis. Sometimes I’m shocked at the level of secrecy, especially in financial matters. I’m a firm believer in transparency, and I believe the family will be better off because of it.

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