I Just Want a Normal Life

I was reading a news article about politics in Germany this weekend, and something a 20-year-old said caught my attention. This young man said, “… but we just want a normal life.” All politics aside, this declaration took me back to when I was 20—yes, a little over 31 years ago for those who want to know.

I started thinking about this and put myself in the place of this young German man. When I was 20—a year or so after I finished my Army basic training and returned to college—it would never have crossed my mind to think, “I just want a normal life.”

But what does “normal life” even mean? Is it a time when I was a baby and my mom took care of all my needs? A time when my world revolved around sleeping, eating, making diaper messes for my mom to handle, and repeating the cycle? Or does normal life mean growing up and facing the challenges of my teen years—trying to be cool with everybody, faking extroversion just to get noticed? Or perhaps normal life refers to my struggles during my first year of college, navigating tough classes while trying to survive with barely anything in my food pantry.

I’m not entirely sure what this young man meant when he said, “…but we just want a normal life.” The article gives some clues, but in my mind, I’m thinking: When I was 20, I wasn’t longing for a “normal life.” Back then, I wanted to be different, challenge the world, and build a meaningful life. I was focused on living purposefully—improving my circumstances, meeting a wonderful woman (which I did), getting married, starting a family, serving my country and others, and guiding my future family toward a better life—better than the one I had. I wasn’t thinking about government or politics because, at 20, thinking about those things didn’t seem to lead anywhere—unless, of course, you were planning a career in politics.

A “normal life”? Personally, I don’t think there’s such a thing. We’re human, and the environment changes daily, so, in my view, nothing about life is truly “normal.” I learned a long time ago from a little book titled “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson that change happens, and you must monitor life, anticipate changes, and adapt quickly in order to continue enjoying life.

A “normal life”? Not for me. I’d rather have a dynamic life—a life that challenges me to be better every day and to step out of my comfort zone occasionally. I want to sense change and adapt to it quickly. I don’t want to sit around complaining about my circumstances. I want to learn from them, work through the problems, and change my circumstances.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, normal means “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern: characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.”1 One of the definitions of life is “the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual.”2

So here’s my attempt to combine these definitions into the meaning of “normal life”:

Normal life is the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up an individual’s existence, characterized by conformity to what is considered usual, typical, or routine within a given context or society.

Maybe the young German man was referring to a “normal life” from a time when only white people resided in his community, when women were expected to stay home taking care of children while men worked in factories, or when only men had rights and women were mere decorative figures. I’m not exactly sure what he meant by “normal life,” especially since he’s only 20 years old, and as far as I know, none of these scenarios were considered normal in Germany or the rest of Europe in 2005. 

So who knows what this young man was really referring to? By the way, his full quote was, “The left calls us Nazis, but we just want a normal life.” One thing I do know for certain—I don’t want a “normal life.”

  1. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/normal ↩︎
  2. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/life ↩︎

88 thoughts on “I Just Want a Normal Life”

    1. Thank you, Cheryl—that’s a great way to put it. I’m all for setting some basic rules so we can live in an organized manner, but there are some people who want to push their particular beliefs on others, and that is definitely not okay.

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      1. I don’t know if it was because of the content of my comment. But I said, ‘normal’ is probably what people want when they are in difficult times – countries going through war. I remember wanting some semblance of normalcy which is peace, when there were problems in the country I was in.

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        1. Interesting. Maybe some form of censorship is in place somewhere, but I’m glad your comment made it through. I fully understand what you mean, and I want the same thing. Peace, understanding, and respect for each other should be the foundation of a healthy life. The “normal life” that the young man wanted, according to the article—one based on hatred and racism—is a “normal” I want no part of.

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  10. I so agree that more information would be useful! Now I’m intrigued, and it’s a shame that no one followed up with him on what constitutes a normal life.

    I’m always out of the political loop, but now I’m curious to see what is going on in Western Europe… but I don’t want to get caught in the time suck of world politics. It’s always a balancing act between staying informed and living life focused on what we can actually change.

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    1. Thank you, Stacey. Quick summary: What’s happening in Germany and other parts of Europe is similar to what is happening in the U.S. Citizens are tired of the government not addressing social problems that impact quality of life, such as better jobs, housing, health care, and immigration. Since the government is not listening, those citizens are turning to extreme right-wing politicians who are willing to listen and then fill the gap with hateful propaganda. Of course, hate is never the answer, but politicians on both sides need to be open to frank discussions and address the concerns of the people. The extreme left is also creating chaos in South America and other parts of the world, but that discussion is probably best saved for another time. All we can do is pray, stay informed and vote accordingly.

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    1. Thank you, Violet. I think that not being normal should be the behavior of any teen or young adult because at that age, there isn’t enough life experience to desire a “normal life.” But of course, I might be wrong. The young man is probably just following the crowd to be cool.

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  12. What a compelling post, Edward. And timely. Normal as a goal – the overtones of conforming, fitting in and being reluctant to be seen as an individual. I see the threads you’ve woven about fear and the reluctance to think for oneself. The inability to be better. Thank you. 💕

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    1. You’re welcome, Vicki, and thank you for commenting. The philosophical views of some young people are problematic, but luckily, they are in the minority. There are many other young professionals with clear goals and a broader understanding of what humanity is all about, which gives me hope for a better future.

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  14. No tengo idea de qué significa la normalidad para esa persona, pero si esa normalidad está fundamentada en el odio, no la quiero ni en pintura. Y si es un nazi, pues es un nazi, y eso hay que dejarlo claro siempre, sin tapujos ni dudas. Ayer se cumplieron 80 años de la liberación de Auschwitz, para que no se olvide y nunca se repita.0

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    1. Sí, y hubiera querido que el reportero le diera la oportunidad de explicar su entendimiento de una “vida normal.” Porque querer vivir en la época en que tantos judíos, minorías y personas con impedimentos físicos fueron asesinados no es normal. Además, el sentimiento racista no tiene lugar en este mundo donde la diversidad es la norma del día.

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  15. Buff, no sé qué entiende esa persona por vida normal, pero si la normalidad se basa en el odio, yo no la quiero. Y si es un nazi, pues es un nazi, y eso hay que dejarlo claro siempre. Ayer se cumplieron 80 años de la liberación de Auschwitz, que nunca se olvide, para que no se repita jamás.

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    1. Yo sé que la historia se repite y a veces cometemos los mismos errores, pero los eventos que causaron la Segunda Guerra Mundial no son normales, y es una historia que yo espero que nunca se repita. Estoy muy de acuerdo contigo, una normalidad basada en el odio, yo tampoco la quiero. Gracias por tus comentarios.

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  16. Wonderful and interesting post, Edward. Much worth reflecting on. It also shows how much the world changed in just a few decades. At 20 years old, I wanted to be extraordinary, not normal. To live outside the box of conformism and societal tradition, because I wanted the world to be better. I believed I had a role in the change, and whatever was “normal” was boring and superficial. Deep inside, I knew that evolution can never happen by living a “normal” life. Of course, I was and still am a black sheep, but I believe I was able to become a better human being, exactly because “normal” was not enough for me. Most of all, this young man’s sentence shows how confused and even tired the new generations may be. The lack of direction and values infused in them by “modern” society is easily perceived. But I still hope that there are some of the “normal not for me” young people out there. Few are enough if they energetically and extraordinarily hold intent to positive change. Thank you for this thought-provoking piece. I appreciated reading and churning about it. Thank you! Light and blessings to you, my friend*

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    1. Thank you, Susana, and I love what you said about “normal” being boring because it’s so true. I also wanted to live outside the box of conformism and societal traditions, especially family ones, which can sometimes be toxic. I share the same hope and know that there are more young people focusing on positive change than those wanting to turn back the clock. Blessings, my friend. 🙏🏼

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  17. “The only constant in life is change” .. I think a Greek Philosopher said this long ago. ‘Normal’ is perceived differently by everyone and, as you said, Edward, we really don’t know the young man’s point of reference. I agree also that there really is no standard ‘normal’.

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  18. Well stated. These definitely weren’t my thoughts when I was a young teen. I grew up in chaos and strife. All I’ve ever wanted was a normal life, but I had no clue what that looked like as a teen. Now, I just want peace to pursue my goals, afford rent, groceries, and necessities, take care of my family, and find some enjoyment. Write, learn, and grow. Peace. That’s what I feel many are seeking.

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    1. Thank you, Samantha, and you are absolutely right. Now that we’re a bit older, we can actually quantify what we want. Peace is essential, absolutely, in order to do the things you mentioned, which are extremely important.

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    1. Absolutely! I was reading the article, and his comment made me stop and think about how sad it is for a 20 year old to think like that. He doesn’t have enough life experience to develop that line of thinking, so it’s definitely hateful propaganda poisoning his mind.

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  21. I once watched a TED Talk given by a world champion runner ~ a perfectly gorgeous young woman who had been born without legs.

    “What’s normal, anyway?” she asked her audience. “And who would want to be that boring, white bread person?”

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      1. My own daughter is fond of complaining about her “abnormal” childhood. She doesn’t read history, so she doesn’t know how abnormal, in its context, a typically shallow middle class American upbringing is. I was raised in strictly “normal” circumstances, and found the expectations to be something she has never dreamed of putting up with. Personally, the idea of a “normal” luncheon among “normal” ladies would be something I’d choose to sort lentils instead of attending.

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  22. I agree with all you said here, Edward. I never wanted a “normal life” either, and I don’t think it’s truly possible to have one. And yes, of course “normal” means something vastly different to this 20 year old than what it would mean to you or I. I think as a whole, we all could just want peace, overall, that would be a nice idea and a good “normal” way to live, if that makes any sense (but is so unattainable in so many ways it seems, and it really shouldn’t be!) but I wish it would be something we could all strive for and be able to live in, harmony. 🙏 appreciate your thoughts on this ☕️ ☕️ stay caffeinated my friend, and I’m waiting for your coffee export that can bring about world peace! lol 😆

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    1. Absolutely, Laura! Your comment makes a lot of sense. I think we can all agree that peace and respect for one another, for example, are good goals for humanity. Crap, what’s “normal” in Florida is different from what’s “normal” in Illinois, but most of us like coffee, so life is good. Well, I think you just found the perfect name for our coffee, “World Peace Coffee,” with the slogan, “Enjoying peace one cup at a time.” 😂

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      1. You’ve got a business deal! World Peace Coffee ☕️ sounds absolutely delightful, who wouldn’t want to gather around and have a peaceful drink of that sweet coffee? (we can add a little extra Fukitol too!) 🤣 😆 thanks, Edward!

        And….yes, there’s some interesting “normal” in Florida 😜 just ask any Florida man or Florida woman…all those headlines on the news and such 💀🤦‍♀️

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  23. Agreed 100%! I’m not sure what the young person meant about wanting to live ‘a normal life’. Life Is hard no matter who you are, and it’s harder if you believe hateful rhetoric. When I was 20, I was saving for college by working a full-time swing-shift job in a factory that required significant overtime. I don’t understand how people have time to be hateful human beings. It’s all our jobs to be out there making this world better.

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  24. I agree with you Edward, and I don’t want a normal life too. I don’t want to become complacent, let everything wash over me, and not care anymore what’s happening in the world. You’re right, life is a constant change. And change is good, healthy and keeps you on your toes.

    This young man is a right-winger and he wants the time back before Germany opened the gates to the migrants in 2015.

    I had a discussion with a young German with his girlfriend this summer about foreigners in Germany. The discussion was ok, until he told me about all the Syrians lying by the river on weekends in his city (Saarbrücken), taking over the favourite places where he went before they “took over”. He said nothing negative, but the undertone, the unspoken was chilling. Shortly after this remark, I excused myself and left.

    And another incident I remember from 2015, when Angela Merkel said “Wir schaffen das”, meaning, we will let one million migrants enter Germany. I was residing in a huge Hotel in Hamburg at that time, because of cancer treatment. At the bar a young German, an hotel employee, very sympathetic, told us about migrants entering Germany and that he wouldn’t tolerate any bullshit from them.

    Then he said something which haunts me to this day:”I don’t fear WW III, but I think the next war will be within Germany. We Germans will have to defend our homeland.”

    This was the forebode of today’s AFD rhetoric (extreme right-wing party) and the situation has degraded ever since in Germany. And believe me I know, I worked from 2000 to 2004 in Munich and the situation with foreigners was completely relaxed at that time.

    Excuse the length Edward, but I think it was important to mention.

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    1. Thank you, Chris, and don’t worry about the length; your comments were spot on and in line with the article. The young man is planning to vote for the AfD next month. It’s sad that we don’t learn our lessons and continue to fight over the same old topic of race. In part, I blame politicians for not addressing the concerns of their citizens and creating a space for extreme right-wing and extreme left-wing politicians to fill with their toxic propaganda. It’s happening in the U.S., as well as in many other countries, and it’s just sad.

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  27. I’m at a point in my life where I just want a normal life, which means a life free from strife: mass shootings, school shootings, raving lunatics in charge of the government, the never-ending series of wars, etc., etc.

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    1. I agree with you, Liz, and I want those too. The news article was about the far-right movement in Germany that is gaining ground. I’m concerned about how some people are poisoning the minds of the youth. At this rate, we are never going to reach peace because people want to live life in accordance with their own beliefs without considering the rights of others.

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      1. I’m a member of the Peace & Love generation and both my parents devoted their lives to helping others. Thinking back on my childhood, the message my brother and I got was that the worst things you could do was hurt someone’s feelings or exclude them.

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  28. Oh my. I had to read all the way down to your ending, where you gave the full quote, to understand where you were coming from with the 20-year old’s desire for a “normal life.” The full quote was chilling.

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      2. The adventurous urge skips generations – my children were never as wild and unorthodox as me. Nor were my parents. Many Germans grew up in an occupied country and view normal as not having to share their country with privileged occupiers – the Nazi bit is quite disturbing.

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        1. You made a great point about being adventurous. I definitely was, but my mom and my son are not. Your comment about the privileged is a fair point, and we have a few of those in this country. As for the Nazi bit, I blame it on the propaganda that is really intense in Europe and here in the U.S.

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