The Life of an Introvert

Susan Cain posted the below sketch in LinkedIn and wrote the following: “This one (via hashtag#IntrovertProblems) rang pretty true for me – though I’d replace “overthinks” with “craves interaction”. How about you?”

My response to her was, “Right on the money,” which she liked with a thumbs up.

At least for me, this diagram describes exactly how I feel after an extended social interaction. For example, this weekend we went to Austin, Texas, to attend our niece’s college graduation. It was great. The University of Texas at Austin executed an excellent ceremony culminating with an awesome show using drones. She is an Engineer now, and we are super proud of her.

We spent a wonderful weekend with family, but for an introvert like me, all that interaction is exhausting. Of course, there is always drama when family gets together.

Here is how that cycle works in my case:

Needs social interaction – Excited about the family reunion.

Interacts with people – Spent the weekend talking with family, going out to eat, attending the graduation ceremony, more eating out, drama, etc.

Gets overwhelmed – More drama on the last day, airport, flight back, turbulence, drive home from Chicago.

Isolates – Yep, for the last two days, trying to recover.

Gets lost in own thoughts – Thinking about what happened during the weekend and the things I need to do this week.

Overthinks – About all the drama, different scenarios, and what I should have done to avoid or at least minimize the drama.

Needs social interaction – Back to the beginning, thinking about the Heart concert this weekend and getting excited about it.

You see, right on the money!

35 thoughts on “The Life of an Introvert”

  1. The brain is an amazing thing indeed, like the ocean, it is one of the last things, we are just beginning to realize the potential benefits. This was a helpful post for me. Thank you Edward. I know for me as I get older, I really don’t like any drama in my life. I like nature and animals and go out about three or four times a month to places I have to go to. We like fine dining but not where you can not get a nice quiet place in a good restaurant. We do miss that about Seattle. I relate to much of what you said. I honestly believe we should choose the people we want to be around carefully. Limiting the amount of time as much as possible spent around those folks that love to create drama, is something I learned to do almost entirely five years ago.

    I do hope that you will love the heart concert though. What a treat to see them in concert. Thanks for sharing, I really appreciated this insightful post. Have a great weekend and maybe do some dancing at the concert. Hugs, Joni 🤗

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    1. Thank you, Joni. You are right about choosing the people we want to be around and limiting our interactions with those who create or enjoy drama. It’s so important but hard to do sometimes, especially when it involves family members.

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  5. I guess I am an extreme introvert 🙄😅, cause I miss the “Needs social interaction”. The rest is absolutely true for me. Understanding the cycle and our role in it is half way to go beyond it, whether or not you have or choose to socialize. Very helpful content, Edward! Sending you light and blessings, my friend 🙏💫

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    1. Thank you so much, Susana. You know, I think there is a point when loneliness starts affecting an individual and triggers the need for some kind of social interaction. When I was single, that timeframe was about 5-7 days. Every time I went on vacation, after a week or so of isolation, I needed to get out of the apartment and do something with friends. Now, of course, I have a family and I’m married to an extrovert. The good thing is that my wife knows me well, has read the book Quiet, and understands that I need a little bit of “me time” after big or extended social interactions.

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    1. Well, sometimes you need to step into the extrovert world to have a little fun in the community. The book Quiet by Susan Cain helped me understand this dynamic. It’s really hard, but once in a while, we need to do hard things. Thank you, JT.

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  8. Congratulations to your niece. I’m chuckling about your descriptions. I’m more of an ambivert but I can totally see the cycle! Glad you have recovery time before Heart! How fun that will be!

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  10. Your description is spot-on! I also find large family events both exhilarating and draining. The need to recharge afterward is so real. It’s great to see someone else articulate these feelings so well. Enjoy the Heart concert!👍🎉

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  11. Relatable in many ways. I agree with Laura. I do look forward to the gathering, but then when it’s all said and done, my question remains, “Why did I even bother, UGH !!!”

    Great Share Brother.

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  13. The more drama part is where it really gets me. I’m excited to connect and re-connect with people, enjoy the interactions and times spent, but then something inevitably happens and then it’s just like…ok I need to shut down and recharge now for a week! Lol 😆 sure you can relate.

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    1. Absolutely! It’s a little bit easier now that I’m retired but it was pretty tough when I was working. Just a few hours after work and needed to wait until the weekend to recover fully. Brutal!

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