The Questions We Don’t Ask — And Why They Matter, Part 7

To answer today’s question, I need to go back to 12 October 2022, the day I sat down with a doctor for my final medical exam before retirement.

Until that point, I thought I was indestructible. Sure, there was always a pain here or there, but like we say in the Army, we just need to “suck it up and drive on.” I remembered those days when I was Private Ortiz back in 1992, running two miles in 11 minutes 34 seconds, even after receiving some tough love from my drill sergeants the day before. Then again in 1999, as a brand-new second lieutenant, I was licking my wounds after days of walking with heavy loads through the woods of Fort Benning, Georgia.

Back then, the cure for most pains was a quick visit to the Army Physician Assistant to get some ibuprofen and maybe some IV fluids in order to continue training or the mission. Fast forward to 12 October 2022, and I’m reviewing my medical records: “dermatitis, left and right knee strain, hearing loss, thoracolumbar strain,” and on and on. Not to mention enrolling in the Airborne Hazards and Open Burn Pit Registry because of my time in Iraq and Afghanistan, and who knows what kind of stuff is brewing inside me that will show up 10 or 20 years from now after inhaling all that junk in the air back then.

So today’s question is:

When did you recognize you were aging? How did you react?

Well, that moment for me was 12 October 2022. And how did I react? I told myself, “It is what it is.”

There really isn’t much you can do when you finally realize you’re aging. There’s no way for me to go back to 1991 and not join the Army, or to 1998 and resign my commission. All I can do is accept where I am and be content. There are people in much worse condition, so the fact that I’m healthy enough to keep living is a blessing. I can still do most of the things I did in my teens and twenties—just a bit slower, sometimes extremely slow. So, not too bad overall.

Some of you may remember my post “Getting Old.” A little over a year ago, I was joking that you know you’re getting old “when you eat a hot dog and less than 24 hours later you find yourself in the operating room and without a gallbladder.”

I guess those are signs of aging. You can’t eat or drink the stuff you used to when you were 18 or 19. Nor can you run as fast, and to feel good you look at the age-adjusted race time charts and tell yourself, “If I were 20, I’d be in the top five,” even though I came in number 30.

No, I can’t continue to pretend I’m 18. But what I can do now, at 52, is look back and see how far I’ve come and the many challenges I’ve overcome. I’m wiser now and focus only on what is truly important.

Aging is a natural process, and we need to embrace it. It started the moment we were born and will end at some point. But in the meantime, we need to keep living and doing as much good as we can.

Previous Questions:

Part 1: Are you as happy as you appear to be?
Part 2: What single moment in your life would you repeat?
Part 3: If you conclude that the afterlife you believe in isn’t real, how would you alter the way you live?
Part 4: How do you determine what is right and good in a moral sense? To what degree do you depend on sacred texts or clerics?
Part 5: Do you travel much? Why? Why not?
Part 6: Are you happier alone or with others?

57 thoughts on “The Questions We Don’t Ask — And Why They Matter, Part 7”

    1. I like the way you framed it, so good. I think it’s in most aspects that we improve and get better as we move up in life, just like you said. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

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  2. Thank you first for your selfless service to protect our country and the health challenges that remind you of the sacrifices you have made. You’re a champion and leader and I’m so appreciative of you.
    I’m almost 60 now yikes next year .. somedays I see the new things the wearing of a commitment to fitness my entire life and 4 kids and now 6 grandkids..I wonder often who that is in the mirror… the same but different person with lines that embrace life’s hard work and lessons that have filled me with more wisdom than I ever thought I had room to hold, that was just my grandmas job… now it’s all the sudden mine. When my oldest turning 40 says how did my kids grow so fast , I think 🤔 well how did you get teenage kids already and if your about to be 40 that means what for me? It’s like seeing another life at times and another person while part of me is still the young woman I refuse to grow out of… now I just have to work harder to be my healthiest but it always shows me the beauty in consistently appreciating health.
    I hope you have the best day ever and it is a healthy one!

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  3. Hi, Ed. I am unsure why I didn’t respond to the other six parts. Aging? Lol…I got this one though. I remember accepting the aging process one day in the summer of 2021. I was tired from working. Not the daily tired but the five-day a week tired. I knew I had to decide if I wanted to retire at 62 or 70. The impact of aging was realized then when I accepted that I wanted more energy for enjoyment at this time in my life. I had a stroke in 2022. I was glad I had retired. I could recover without having to report to a supervisor for every doctor’s visit. I am very grateful that I am still here and can walk again. I can write on my blog and read the wonderful writings of my fellow bloggers. I can read my Bible all day if I want to. There are quite a few enjoyments that I have realized over the last four years. I retired October 29, 2021, on my birthday. I am blessed and as I age, I can enjoy my grandchildren. I have to say that I am grateful and that is why I write about gratitude so much. I didn’t have to be here. It is a blessing that God gives me breath to enjoy this part of my life.

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    1. Thank you so much, Sandra. You made a wise decision and chose life. I’m not sure if I mentioned this in one of my posts, but I had a co-worker who died at work. He had retired from the military and continued working as a civilian well past his retirement age. He suffered a stroke and kept working while still recovering. We told him he needed to retire and spend time with his family, but he said he would go crazy with nothing to do at home. Sadly, he died, and his family never had the chance to fully enjoy him. You chose what’s truly important, and you are receiving the blessing for that choice. God bless you, my friend.

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  7. Edward, thank you for all you’ve done for our country. Hopefully none of your time in Iraq or Afghanistan will add up to anything detrimental for your health.
    2 things made/make me aware of my aging. 1. When lifting a heavy package that normally wouldn’t be a problem a couple years ago, I hurt my back, hip, and abdomen – all at the same time!! ☹ 2. Every time I look at a recent photograph of myself, it takes me a moment to realize that it’s me. I don’t feel as old as I look. I always expect to see the same person I was 30 years ago. 😊 I have dreams, goals, and wishes for my life, my loved ones, and for the world, I can’t give up or get ‘old’ before they all come true.

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  9. Thanks so much for serving, Edward, and this post sure does resonate. My body has incurred a few more issues in the last 3 years. I keep thinking that I’m much younger than 64, but numbers don’t lie, right? 🙂 Anyway, I like your attitude. What I’ve found is the issues that I’m dealing with aren’t fixable. So I had to find a way to live with them while still living my life. It’s not as daunting as it sounds. But most of us deal with some kind of pain as we get older though on different levels and seriousness. Anyway, I look back and I’m proud of myself for getting to this point of “I’m fine.” I made it over some hills, and who knows what lies on the horizon. But I tell myself to keep moving forward while repeating “I’m fine.” Thanks for sharing with us. Take care and have a good weekend.

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    1. You’re welcome, Lauren, and thank you for this thoughtful comment. You’re absolutely right, and there are some things we just need to manage as best we can and accept as companions for life. But it’s also good to reflect on the life we’ve lived so far.

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  10. I guess i realized i am aging when the police slammed me to the ground on my hip, and i had to have surgery. It seems I remember bouncing when i was 19 wrestling with my comrades in the Navy. Next month, i get to visit ortho again, but for my shoulders this time. They aren’t healing after more police brutality four years ago. It’s the “not healing” part that gets me. The youngsters in jail said rotator cuff injuries can take four years to heal. My doctor said that it may never heal for me, because of my age! Here’s the thing: i am also old enough to leverage my way into a restorative justice position, and fight to get those brutes some therapy! Have you met Deputy Donut? 🍩

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    1. An injury like that is hard to heal. I broke my right elbow about six years ago, and even though it’s ‘m”healed,” it still hurts if I put too much weight on that side. I met Deputy Donut, and it was very interesting.

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  11. Edward…always, always I think…thank you for your service. Exposure to so many threats, known and not – unforeseen until years later. Sending all of my best wishes for years and years of good health to you. 💝

    I think my answer to the “when” question came a few years ago when I found out – the hard way – that I couldn’t get up off the floor without using my hands. I’d always done that with ease until…I flopped over when I tried and spilled a plate of barbeque on an unsuspecting friend. Somehow the limber days of popping up were in my rearview mirror – just like that! 😜💝😜

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    1. Thank you so much, Vicki. 🙏🏼 Wow, that’s an incredible way to find out… Now that I think about it, I don’t think I can do that either. I’ve always used my hands to get up. I might need to try it later to see if I’m able to get up without using my hands.

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  14. Every decade birthday is another wake-up call. We can’t believe we’re really such-and-such age. When Marshall was in memory care, he was celebrating his 83rd birthday and asked me how old he was. I told him, and he said, “No, really, tell me how old I am.” When I repeated his age, he got angry and said that it wasn’t nice of me to tease him. So, I asked him how old he thought he was. He said 42. Then I asked his friends. They all gave me ages many decades younger, perhaps their favorite times of their lives.

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  15. You’re right Edward, there’s nothing we can do about aging. We just have to live in the meantime.
    My respect to you for being in the army. The impact on your body and the repercussions sound intense. You certainly have a good perspective about it.

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  16. Another profound question, Edward! Your last paragraph wrapped it all lightly and gracefully. Acceptance of the natural rhythms of our physicality is vital to keep living fully and wisely and growing beyond limiting perceptions. Besides, from a higher perspective, we are ageless, and when that is well rooted within our hearts, aging can never be a “problem.” Grateful for this precious moment of reflection. Truly appreciated, my friend! Sending blessings and light your way, today and always 🙏✨

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  17. This really resonated with me. The way you connected your Army days with the reality check at your retirement exam paints such a powerful picture of how ageing sneaks up on all of us. I like how you framed it—not as something to fear or fight against, but as a stage of life to accept and even embrace. Your perspective on gratitude, wisdom, and focusing on what truly matters is inspiring. Thank you for sharing this reminder that ageing is just part of the journey, and it’s up to us to keep living with purpose.

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  19. I’m refusing to give into my new number of 60 although there are some days when I ask myself “should we be slowing down?” I just smile and jump in the car for my drive to CrossFit. Need to keep moving along. I must say I’m loving my new home here in Jetpack/Wordpress Land. Being around such talent keeps my mind fit and sharp!

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    1. Hey, we absolutely need to keep moving. The body will tell us when to slow down and when to pick up the pace. When we stop moving, that’s when we start having problems.

      I’ve been blogging for two years now, and this community is awesome. Thank you!

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  20. I remember your post last year Edward and that was scary for sure but glad you got through it. For me, it would be the crumbling hip yoga retreat. It’s an inevitable part of life and coming to terms with it is daunting but also humbling while navigating it and accepting limitations at the same time. I love your approach! 💗

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    1. Thank you so much, Cindy. That surgery, my first ever, was definitely something. Just to let you know that I’m still doing the exercises you recommended before getting out of bed, and they definitely help. Keep pressing, my friend; I’m learning from you.

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  21. Doing as much as we can – you’re doing a fabulous job of that, Edward. Your perspective about your last Army physical is such a great grounding for this post. And two miles in 11 minutes 34 seconds? Impressive!

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  23. Our boys are your age (51 and 54), and my guess is that they’d peg that feeling to when they could no longer play their favorite sports at the level they expected of themselves. I didn’t start pushing my body “athletically” until I took up long distance running in my 60s, so for me it was more turning 70. Now I’m about to turn 80, and there’s no doubt about the aging process!!! 😂🤪

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  24. My first reality test was my 70th birthday. No aches, no pains, no restrictions, and in excellent health and fitness for a woman my age. What did it was that I was now only 10 years from 80, and I realized how fast the past 10 years had gone by. I’m happy to say that in the next year, I was able to shake it off and adopt the “it is what it is, so let’s make the best of it “ attitude. That certainly feels better!

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    1. Thank you for sharing that, Terry. I’m sure that if I make it to 70, I’ll be thinking something similar, because it seems like after 50, the years go by super fast. But it is what it is, and we just need to keep going.

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