Finding Your Flow

Happy New Year, my friends! We spent a wonderful week with family and said goodbye to 2024 in a low-key but meaningful way.

As the year turned, I spent some time reflecting on the past and the future, and the word “flow” came to mind.

In the book Quiet by Susan Cain, I read that “flow” is the pursuit of an activity for its own sake, not for the rewards it brings.1 “Flow is an optimal state in which you feel totally engaged in an activity.”2 Later on the same page, she quoted psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who said, “Flow often occurs in conditions in which people ‘become independent of the social environment to the degree that they no longer respond exclusively in terms of its rewards and punishments. To achieve such autonomy, a person has to learn to provide rewards to herself.’”3 

Susan’s advice to introverts, “Find your flow by using your gifts. You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up. You enjoy relative freedom from the temptations of superficial prizes like money and status… Ideas can be shared quietly, they can be communicated in writing, they can be packaged into highly produced lectures, they can be advanced by allies. The trick for introverts is to honor their own styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.”4

To extroverts, she shared this wisdom: “If you’re a buzz-prone extrovert, then you’re lucky to enjoy lots of invigorating emotions. Make the most of them: build things, inspire others, think big. Start a company, launch a website, build an elaborate treehouse for your kids. But also know that you’re operating with an Achilles’ heel that you must learn to protect. Train yourself to spend energy on what’s truly meaningful to you instead of on activities that look like they’ll deliver a quick buzz of money, status, or excitement. Teach yourself to pause and reflect when warning signs appear that things aren’t working out as you’d hoped. Learn from your mistakes. Seek out counterparts (from spouse to friends to business partners) who can help rein you in and compensate for your blind spots.”5 My takeaway from her Achilles’ heel comment is that extroverts are prone to taking on too much risk, which can shift their buzz into a bust.

My friends, I hope you find your flow this year. I’m looking forward to reading your wonderful words!

  1. Cain, Susan. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. (P. 172). New York: Random House, 2013. ↩︎
  2. Cain p. 172. ↩︎
  3. Cain p. 172. ↩︎
  4. Cain p. 173. ↩︎
  5. Cain p. 170. ↩︎

42 thoughts on “Finding Your Flow”

    1. It’s on my TBR list, but that list keeps getting longer every day. 🤦🏻‍♂️ At the end of the day, reading is my fuel—well, that and coffee—so it’s all good. Thank you for the recommendation! I’ll definitely move that book up in my queue.

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  3. Life is a flow; humans like to compartmentalize everything, creating limits to what is truly a continuum. Living in a flow state is to live in alignment with the essence of life. It’s an elevated state, which includes the dissolution of many human perceptions that are like mental barriers to the universal flow. That in a way keeps us out of the flow. Wonderful insight for your new year, Edward; very profound and unlimited. I am grateful for your share; somehow, I receive it too. And enjoyed reading these inspiring lines of your first post of 2025. Thank you! Infinite light and blessings to you, my friend; keep yourself in the flow… Happy New Year!

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  4. This is such an inspiring reflection! Your insights on “flow” and embracing our strengths are a beautiful reminder to focus on what truly matters. Wishing you a year filled with meaning, growth, and flow—thank you for sharing your wisdom!

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  6. Flowing is so beautiful, “flow” is a word I like to use often. To achieve that vibe takes some practice of course, but it feels so good when you are in that mind state. Doing what you enjoy and with ease. Looking forward to reading your words this year too, Edward! Thanks as always for sharing a great read 😊 ☕️ ☕️

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  8. Excellent post, Edward. I’ll have to add “Quiet” to my TBR list. I tend to be more of an extrovert and the point about a counterpart was spot-on. I used to have a trusted friend at work who’d give me a timely kick if I started getting too many plates on sticks spinning around. Those types of people/friends are gold 😎

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    1. Thank you! I think you’re going to enjoy the book. She does a great job explaining the life of an introvert while maintaining a nice balance by highlighting the differences with extroverts. It helped me immensely in my leadership roles during the last 10 years of my career.

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  9. Happy New Year, Brother. Flow is indeed a powerful word. It’s all about finding balance and applying just the right amount of flow in our lives to prevent overwhelm.

    Here’s to a year of intentional focus and finding our flow.

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  13. That’s as good a report on a Christmas/New Year’s week as anyone could hope for. Bravo! I have Susan Cain’s book tucked away on my bookshelf; it was definitely a keeper. I’m an Introvert, and her description/advice serves me very well. Mind you, it’s a lot easier to lead one’s life that way once one is retired!! 😊

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    1. Thank you, Jane! I was thinking the same thing while reading and writing the post. Retirement opened up so many opportunities for me to pursue the things I really wanted to do. It was very hard to be myself while I was in the Army, and I guess that’s why I’m not a General. 😂 Susan’s book was a life-changer, and I revisit parts of the book and my notes a few times a year to stay balanced.

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